The women of Togo are amazing; they are hospitable, gracious, resilient, both emotionally and physically strong, just completely and totally awe-inspiring, and good cooks to boot. Our grandmothers were also pretty impressive, working behind the scenes to run the household and raise the kids pretty much singlehandedly and often with little to no credit, but in so doing did they haul 25 liters of water on their head (weighing 25 kilos or just over 55 pounds!) from a river kilometers away from their house? Did they manage all their Susie Homemaker duties and simultaneously run a cottage enterprise, care for livestock, accompany their husbands to the field, volunteer on multiple village committees, and sit on the side of the road selling porridge until 8:00 p.m. only to wake up at 4 a.m. to sweep the yard with a giant leaf?
If your grandmother did all this, I salute her. Then again, if your grandmother did all this she was probably Togolese.
The women of my village are empowered and modern in their own way, taking on more and more commercial pursuits while still maintaining their duties to their family. If you go to the weekly market, you will realize that 90% of the vendors are female. If you observe very closely you’ll notice that although it is primarily men who grow the fruits and vegetables, it is nearly exclusively women who buy and resell the produce. I think the ladies of Togo have more of a stronghold on the economy than they realize, but that realization is all but inevitable with time.
And now I will share with you portraits of two remarkable women in my village:
I have a friend in village who moved back home from the town a day’s car ride away where her husband and children live to take care of her sickly aunt. She belongs to a women’s agricultural group but to break even she wakes up early every morning to make bean doughnuts that she sells to school children and people heading off to the farm fields. Though she is one of the most educated people in the village, she has joined a women’s literacy class to improve her French and to find a way to participate in the community and support her sisters’ self-improvement efforts. I met her because she approached me to see if I could help the women in this group discuss contraception methods with their daughters; to say that she genuinely cares about her village would be an understatement. Consequently, she is very well respected in the village and has even been asked to run for president of the Village Development Committee, the only, though unofficial, form of local government outside of the chief system that can be found on the village level.
Though all children are considered a source of joy, having at least one son in the family is highly valued as they are seen as being able to support the family and as houses are generally passed from father to son. A woman who lives near me with four daughters recently finally (as her family would think of it) gave birth to a son. It was an occasion for much rejoicing and seemingly every one in the village stopped by to visit and congratulate her. The child was born on Sunday, came home and was feted on Tuesday but by Wednesday night fell very sick, was shuttled between multiple health centers over two days and by Friday he had passed. The tragedy was recognized by throngs of visitors mirroring the congratulatory visits of only a few days before. The father was able to cope by returning to his work as a carpenter and smoking and drinking with his friends. The mother stayed at home, stayed quiet after the frenzy of consolation had passed. On Sunday morning, one week after the birth of her son, I saw her grinding tomatoes and peppers for sauce, preparing dinner for her family like it was any other day.
I suppose what is most remarkable about this second story is that it is not remarkable – misfortune strikes all the time and people accept it and move on, helped along by the cushion of the tightly woven safety net that is the village community.
As they say in Ewe, Babalo – it will be okay. Yes it will all be okay, and someday it will be better. I have full confidence that the ingenuity and work ethic of the Togolese will eventually push their country further in the way of economic growth. I just hope that when that moment arrives the ladies of Togo will get the credit that is due to them.
